Wilful blindness ….. & my inspiration.

Wilful blindness ….. & my inspiration.

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05.06.2019

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{ Falmouth University MA in photography – CRJ }

In June 2019 I started my MA with Falmouth university as part of an accredited education programme.

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wilfull_blindness_and_inspiration_bambino_art_photography

wilfull_blindness_and_inspiration_bambino_art_photography

 

 

 

I have been struggling so much with this on the MA so far.

We all see images everyday, we are bombarded by them, on products, in advertising, on social media, in magazines, in film, tv,  and in the arts. But ask me what my ‘influences’ are for my photography, and I will always say the same thing. My children. Cliche, yes, but true. The story of how I ended up where I am artistically now as a birth photographer, and family photographer, has come from my life, and how one narrative, or life event led in to the other, like a Russian dolls nest of evolution , of me as a mother, and me as an artist.

I love art, I love being absorbed in photography, film, paintings, sculptures, all of it. But if you asked me what work inspires me and influences my art , I would always say paintings and sculpture, more than photography, and still only after I had spoken about my clients inspiring me, their journeys, and my own family.

I look at other photographs in a way that anyone would, that is nice (or not), that looks good (or not) , makes me feel good (or not), I never went any further or deeper. As a professional, practicing photographer, there is a fundamental NEED to feel you are the first, the first one with an idea, or way of doing things, the first one to edit in such a way, or light in such a way. To know, unequivocally, that that photograph is your own, you dreamt it up, it is ownership of a fleeting thought or moment, and you never want to think that it was in some way someone else’.

I learnt very early on in my career that looking at my contemporaries was hard. It made me feel inadequate. My website wasn’t good enough, branding wasn’t captivating enough, my social media lacked the following of other artists, what did their images have mine didn’t, and , I learnt to stop looking. To just appreciate something aesthetically, but stop really truly looking , because , looking just makes you feel bad, and who wants to feel bad?

Another student of the MA group is doing a project based around the idea of wilful blindness. We had a very interesting conference call earlier three of us, where we were going back and forth with these issues I was having where I find it hard to link my work to others, and don’t want to just make something up for the sake of the course. How we absorb things all the time, but don’t knowingly see them as influences. Then in turn , we were talking about the issues, problems, and ideas that the other students were having. Generally, just helping each other collate our own thoughts. We were discussing this students project idea of wilful blindness, where people knowingly avert their gaze away from a problem, usually ethical problems. Anyways, the conference ended, and I went to collect my amazon delivery of all the books that were delivered whilst I was chatting online.

The first book I opened was Home truths, photography on motherhood,  https://www.amazon.com/Home-Truths-Photography-Susan-Bright/dp/1908970103 edited by Susan Bright, and let me say, it is physically uncomfortable looking at other photographers work that is taken in a similar vein to mine. But.

So I am reading, about motherhood, obviously when one of the first things to pop up, is Dorothea Lang’s , Migrant Mother, and it hit me like a bolt out of the blue, how can we be so wilfully blind?

The image on the left I took in 2014, I think it was. I have always adored it, and have used it in every blog/website/critique I have been included in since I took it. It always seemed familiar to me, like home, and now I wonder whether it was because of Dorothea lang all this time after all.

It’s enlightening.

But terrifying , ‘who’ else will I see in my photographs?

 

 

 

 

 

T~F~:
F o l l o w   m e   o n   F a c e b o o k
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